I know I was supposed to post my weigh-in on Monday but a lot has happened since then so here I am posting it now. I weighed in on Monday at 245.2 so I lost 2 pounds since the last weigh-in. The weight loss is going really slow lately and I'm not exactly sure why but I'll save that for another post.
On Tuesday I found out my son has autism. I almost feel like crying just typing that out again but I have received so much support on my Beads, Braids & Beyond Facebook pages that I don't feel like I'm in this alone. I have gotten so many comments, emails and messages that I haven't even gotten a chance to look at them all yet. I will definitely take the time to do that tomorrow because I'm still not sure where to start. When the doctor told me my son has autism I held my composure and just kept smiling at Lil Man so I wouldn't break down and cry. The doctor asked me if I was okay after a while and I just broke down crying. She told me she was wondering how I could be so strong and not show any emotion then she handed me some tissue. I sucked it up and finished up the appointment. I went down the hall to grab a few autism books she wanted me to read. I was crying hysterically asking the women for the books. I cried all the way to the car. I cried in the car. It seemed like I cried forever. I eventually regained my composure and took a nap. I woke up later and continued with our original plans of visiting the children's museum. The kids loved it.
I decided to go to the mall yesterday and buy myself something. I never shop for myself. I usually leave empty handed after trying things on in the dressing room almost in tears but not this time. Even though I hate buying things at this size, this is who I am right now. I want to dress for the body I have NOW. I don't want to walk around looking raggedy in tshirts and sweatpants anymore. I can be fat and fabulous too, right? I went to my favorite plus size store, Torrid. I bought an awesome red blazer, a pair of jeans and some boots. I usually dress in black so this was a big step for me. I wore the outfit to the movies tonight and I felt pretty good. It beats a t-shirt and no makeup, right? :) I even bought some red lipstick and I NEVER wear lipstick! I was afraid I would look like a fool but I'm tired of caring what people think so I went for it.
I have still been working out. I will make a post tomorrow with my time and calories burned for the week. Even though the weight isn't coming off as fast as I'd like, I still feel pretty good. I feel stronger every day. I know I have a new journey to face with my son and dealing with autism but I'm ready for it. I want to do everything I can to help him and I won't waste anymore time feeling sorry for myself. I hope to spend tomorrow writing out next week's plans, a daily routine that I can follow.
Thank you all for being there when I need you the most.
|I haven't taken a picture with my children in I don't know how long!|
|I was dropping the kids off at my moms so no this is not my dog or tree, lol.|